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(Everybody Wants You, continued by Hyperdreams...)

You suddenly realize that you’re not far from the old-folks home where your grandmother is living. You have a really good relationship with her and you’ve always been able to go to her for help and advice. She’ll know what to do!

You manage to make it to the home without incident by keeping your head down and ducking across the street whenever someone approaches. You get a couple of lustful stares from the staff in the reception area of the home, but they know you and allow you to hurry past unchallenged.

Grandma is in her room doing some knitting in her wheelchair. She’s always pleased to see you. This time, she seems even more pleased to see you. “Emma my darling, what a lovely surprise!”

“Grandma, you’re not going to believe this,” you begin, sitting on the bed opposite her. You tell her about Dan and Jennifer, and about your silly wish and the events of the morning. “And now I can’t go anywhere without people trying to, err, make love to me,” you finish sadly.

“Well dear, that’s very hard to believe. Wishes don’t just come true, you know.”

Your heart sinks. “You don’t believe me, gran?”

“Oh no, I believe you,” says the wise old woman. “Mostly because ever since you arrived, I’ve wanted to throw you on the bed and give you a darn good licking.”

“Grandma!” you gasp.

The old lady wriggles in her wheelchair. “Curse these feeble limbs! Anyway Emma, it looks like you’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle.”

“What should I do?”

“Well sweetie, have you tried the obvious?”

“What’s that?”

Your grandmother rolls her eyes. “Well, making another wish to undo it, of course!”

You were never the brightest kid in school. “That’s genius. I’ll do it right now!”

“Now wait a second Emma,” warns your grandmother. “I’ve read enough books to know that you have to be very careful with wishes. Make very sure you get the wording right, or you might transform into a camel.”

You think for a moment. “I wish… I wish to undo the effects of my last wish,” you say cleverly. Then, stupidly, you add a caveat. “Except for with Dan!”

You give the wish a few seconds to take effect. “Well grandma, has it worked?”

“I’m afraid not sweetie. Right now I’m thinking about grabbing those pert little boobies of yours, sticking my face between them and going wibble, wibble, wibble.”


“Don’t worry dear, maybe you have to get the circumstances just right for it to work.”

You think for a moment. “Well, it was bedtime, I was crying, and I was looking at myself in the mirror.”

“Try that, sweetie. But until then, do you want my advice?”

“Of course.”

Your grandmother leans forward and beckons you closer. “If I were you, I’d find the local football team and get the bonking of my life,” she whispers. “You’re only young once, you know!”