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(He's Mine!, continued...)

You interrupt the pair of them before things escalate further. “Not here,” you say urgently, “Follow me.”

Despite seething with silent fury, neither Natalie or Kate want to start anything in the restaurant. So you lead them out of the restaurant and into one of the conference rooms. You can feel the hostility rippling out of the pair of them, and you just know there’s going to be a catfight — and you are one hundred percent on board with that. What you don’t want is some meddler breaking it up. This might be the end of your relationship with Natalie, Kate or both, so you are going to savor this moment and let it go the distance.

You usher the pair into the quiet conference room before following them and closing the door behind you. You turn around to address the two enraged women… and are struck dumb. Truly the patron deity of catfights is with you this night.

A large banner across the back of the room declares: “Finalists For Dessert Of The Year Competition.” Beneath it is a huge table filled with a vast array of soft, creamy, puddings. There’s custards, cakes, trifles and — to top it all off — at one end of the room is a gigantic, person-sized, chocolate fountain. And it’s running, sending a steady stream of thick, gloopy, chocolate over the lip of a bowl about six feet off the ground.

The whole room is a shrine to everything sweet and sticky — and you just introduced two sexy-as-hell women with a strong desire to kick the other’sass. This is going to be the greatest night of your life. All you need to do is fan the flames.

“Okay, look,” you say, “Clearly, we’ve gotten off to a bad start. Kate, that was a harsh thing you said to Natalie. Why don’t you apologise?”

“Sure,” says Kate, with dangerous insincerity, “I’ve got an apology for the skanky whore — right here!”

With that, your girlfriendgrabs some kind of creamy meringue and hurls it at Natalie, covering her face and dress. Natalie reaches up and wipes her eyes, before flicking the excess cream from her hands onto the floor. “Oh you incredible bitch!” she says, and grabs a whole cream cake from the table and slams it square into Kate’s chest.

Whilt the majority of the cake falls away, a huge dollop of cream remains in a large circle, and proceeds to dribble down your girlfriend’s cleavage. “You’ve ruined my dress!” she screams, and grabs a jug filled with custard and hurls it over Natalie.

The sticky yellow fluid covers splashes across Natalie, covering her hair and dress and dripping down.

With a wordless roar, Natalie hurls herself at Kate and the two of them slam into the dessert-laden table. The table was not built to withstand the weight of two women and collapses. Kate slips and falls and Natalie lands on top of her.

Kate grabs at Natalie’s cream-encrusted hair and Natalie grabs Kate’s in turn. They roll together smearing more of the sweet mess over themselves.

Oh you are going to hell for this, but it is such a ride. What now?


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