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(He's Mine!, continued...)
“Pistols then,” you say, really committing to this whole Hamilton thing, “Three days from now at the abandoned factory.”
You figure the factory is a safe enough place. It closed down years ago amid an economic downturn. It’s been used for the occasional illegal rave, and the odd homeless person, but is otherwise deserted and a long way from people. No gunshot would be heard — and, if it were, it probably wouldn’t draw attention in a hurry.
Natalie looks hesitant, but Kate pushes on. “Do you have pistols?” she asks.
Thankfully, you have something that will serve. Your great-grandfather kept two service revolvers from World War II. You know they work and were meticulously cared for, along with a small box of ammunition. Plenty given that, as per the rules, each duellist is only going to have a single shot in their gun.
You go your separate ways until the agreed time and place of the duel.
When the time comes, you are the first one there. You went to make sure that the place actually was deserted, and were pleased to find it so.
Natalie is the first to arrive, and has clearly decided to dress for the occasion. She exits her car in a slinky, black catsuit — looking every inch the deadly femme fatale from a sixties spy show. Seeing that it’s just you and her, she saunters over to you and reaches for your crotch, feeling your manhood. “Do you have a loaded weapon for me?”
You smile at the innuendo. “I do,” you reply, and hesitate for just a moment longer, feeling Natalie’s hand on your cock, before reaching behind you and producing a case. You open it and let Natalie see the guns inside.
“Groovy,” she says, eyeing them and you suggestively.
It is that moment that Kate arrives. Like Natalie, she has also dressed for the occasion, wearing tight leather trousers, a leather jacket and dark glasses — the very model of a badass lady cop. You don’t exactly recall asking them to go to this effort, but clearly they got the idea from somewhere. Perhaps they are buying into the sense of theatrics.
Your girlfriend sees Natalie hovering by the box containing the guns and she scowls, once again unhappy to be second. She marches over and shoulders Natalie out the way. “Steady,” you say, “there’s no need to rush.”
You hand each girl one of the revolvers. With the practiced air of someone who has watched a lot of TV, Kate opens up the revolver and checks her bullet is there. Satisfied, she puts the cylinder back in place. “Last chance to back out,” she says to Natalie, “Say he’s mine and we don’t have to go through with this.”
Riled by Kate’s rude interruption, Natalie’s face turns sour. “Let’s just get this over with,” she says.
The two of them stand back to back and raise their guns. Natalie takes the chance to bump Kate with her butt to try and rile her up. It works and you see Kate’s face darken, and she thumbs the hammer on her revolver. “Well?” she says, looking at you.
You clear your throat and begin the count. “One two three four ”
Each woman takes a pace as you count them off, looking purposeful. “Five six seven eight ”
You are gripped by a sudden doubt. Is this really a good idea? How is this actually going to play out? “Nine Ten.”
On ‘ten’, both Natalie and Kate spin on the spot — but, by readying her gun, Kate has secured the fractional lead. An almighty bang resounds through the empty factory accompanied by the smell of cordite.
Natalie staggers backward and looks disbelievingly at the hole by her breast — where her heart is. Then she collapses. Kate’s face is a picture of horror and disbelief. “What have I done?” she says, in shock, “You’ve turned me into a fucking murderer!”
You rush over to Natalie and try desperately to stop the bleeding. “Call an ambulance!” you shout to Kate.
“And go to prison?” she shrieks, “This was your idea! These were your guns! You’re up to your neck in this too!”
You call the ambulance yourself, but you chose your location to be out of the way and poorly served by emergency responders deliberately. By the time they arrive, Natalie is too far gone. The police arrive too and arrest both you and Kate for murder.
In the end, the duel ended badly, and someone died. Just like in Hamilton.